Pablo II Pastino - Stoners
Got this pretty lil’ track from Californian Pablo Gutierrez:
In a different version of my present life, two or so years ago, I was spending a lot of time with a particular girl and during the summer we stayed a couple nights at my parents’ house. One of these nights, when no one was around, we put on tall tees and decided to stay up all night making a record using the internal microphone of my computer. It turned out kind of how you’d imagine—sloppy, fun, goofy.
The songs we were writing sort of devolved into nonsense as the night progressed. But the last one we recorded, at around 5am, had some kind of magic in it. It captured all the tenderness we felt for each other, this sense of anxiety about the future, the sadnesses that come out only when you’re at your most happy. We each sang a verse, making up the words as we went, and the last lines I sang were “It’s hard, but I do only love you, but it’s strange to see that I always will be true.”
Writing them out, the lines read very saccharine and sweet, but it felt portentous, because when we broke up a few months later, we reverted back to our most independent selves, moving away from each other, talking rarely. But in the occasional moments we saw each other, we would fall in love again for those few hours or days, and at some point, I realized that I can’t make myself stop loving someone. I can live without them, I can and have found other love, but I can’t not be in love with this girl. It brings a certain measure of sadness to my life, but I don’t need to own her or be with her to feel what I feel for her. It’s so hard to do, but my feelings for her, whether I like it or not, are, for me, undeniably, true.
I re-recorded the song recently, having played it in various bands I was in over the last couple years. I wanted to capture all of those feelings again, to remind myself that time is, in some sense, an illusion. That the way I feel now singing these words is the same as I did two years ago. And so it goes.
And here’s the original just in case you wanted to give it a listen.
Pablo il Postino
Imperfect rhythm to the perfect song
—Iota - Angel Olsen (via egggplant)
I said something really funny and nobody laughed but me
happy 5 months, my love 💕